I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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