am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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