i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
As shirtless as possible
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
