stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
