i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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