those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
