is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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