i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
