It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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