I'm laying in your front yard are you home
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Houston, we have a squirter
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
