I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
