Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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