why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
