Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize