my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
