Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
