Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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