All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
