5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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