You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
