Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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