it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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