i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize