I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
