So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
