i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
