i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
