Soap is not a condiment
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
