so let's talk penis.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
