I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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