I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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