She's JV to your varsity
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
