ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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