I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
