I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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