And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
