There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
