We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
