I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I could make wine with my vomit
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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