i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So much Jack, so little girl.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
