And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Randomize
