He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
