i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
