Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
