Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
