Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
