ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
