Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
