You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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