Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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