I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Just invented taco cereal.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
there is glitter all over my balls
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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