Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
