Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
