I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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