I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
