I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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