I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize