Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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