i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
