If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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