We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
