I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
