i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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