I need help removing her.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
