I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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