So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
